Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell
Stepping Forward Versus Stepping Up
Stepping forward looks like stepping up. It feels like stepping up. But they're very different.
When I was dating, I'd sometimes interpret a guy's stepping forward as stepping up.
I saw what I wanted to see.
It kept me holding on when I should have been letting go.
Here's what I learned the hard way.
When he steps FORWARD he moves toward you, but it's all about him. He's essentially saying:
I'm not ready to let you go ~ but I'm not ready to commit.
I want your encouragement and support in my life ~ but I won't commit.
When I feel insecure, I love having you around ~ but I won't commit.
No one understands me like you do ~ but I won't commit.
I miss you ~ but I won't commit.
When he steps UP, he moves toward you and it's all about you! He's saying:
I'm not taking the chance that anyone else would scoop you up ~ I'm committing!
Let me encourage and support YOU ~ I'm committing!
You'll always feel secure with me because I'm sure about us ~ I'm committing!
We understand each other in a profound and unique way. I want this in my life forever ~ I'm committing!
I never want to miss you again ~ I'm committing!
Photo by John Sting on Unsplash