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  • Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell

Stepping Forward Versus Stepping Up



Stepping forward looks like stepping up. It feels like stepping up. But they're very different.


When I was dating, I'd sometimes interpret a guy's stepping forward as stepping up.


I saw what I wanted to see.


It kept me holding on when I should have been letting go.


Here's what I learned the hard way.


When he steps FORWARD he moves toward you, but it's all about him. He's essentially saying:

  • I'm not ready to let you go ~ but I'm not ready to commit.

  • I want your encouragement and support in my life ~ but I won't commit.

  • When I feel insecure, I love having you around ~ but I won't commit.

  • No one understands me like you do ~ but I won't commit.

  • I miss you ~ but I won't commit.


When he steps UP, he moves toward you and it's all about you! He's saying:

  • I'm not taking the chance that anyone else would scoop you up ~ I'm committing!

  • Let me encourage and support YOU ~ I'm committing!

  • You'll always feel secure with me because I'm sure about us ~ I'm committing!

  • We understand each other in a profound and unique way. I want this in my life forever ~ I'm committing!

  • I never want to miss you again ~ I'm committing!


Photo by John Sting on Unsplash

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