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Tools from cognitive therapy to level up your state of mind.

Kissing in the Field



How to cultivate deep, authentic, long lasting intimacy.

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Mental Health


Powerful, holistic research-based strategies to help us thrive emotionally.

  • Writer's pictureDr. Karin Anderson Abrell

It’s a lot easier to have a happy marriage when you marry a happy person

It’s a lot easier to have a happy marriage when you marry a happy person.

But too often we expect a relationship will make us happy.

We live in “the whens.”

“When I have a bf, I’ll be happy.”

“When I get married, I’ll be happy.”

“When I have a baby, I’ll be happy.”

And think about it; it’s pretty unfair to expect your bf to make you happy. Or your husband. Or your baby.

Happiness is an inside job. It’s our responsibility to get happy on our own. Every day.

Of course, we’ll need help sometimes.

And we should absolutely look for help—by going to therapy or hiring a coach or taking a spiritual retreat or praying or reading self help books.

Or all of the above.

But expecting our significant other to make us happy is unfair.

And really unloving, too.

♥ ♥ ♥

For more thoughts on this, take a listen to my podcast—episode no. 27, “Relationships Shouldn’t Be All That Hard.

Photo credit: Julie Montgomery

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