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  • Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell

You’ll Never Meet the Right One if You’re Searching for the Wrong Reasons


We all want love. But why?


Some reasons are great—we want intimacy, companionship, and someone with whom to do life. These are natural and healthy desires.


But other reasons aren’t so great—for example, looking for love to fill an emotional void, to boost our self-esteem, or to feel complete.


With these motivations, we may find someone—but we won’t find true love—because we’re essentially using someone.


And that’s not love.


We need to fill our own voids, boost our own self-esteem, and feel complete on our own. 


When we do so, we’re prepared to make a wise choice in a partner because we’re approaching our search from a position of health—as opposed to approaching our search from a position of neediness.


It’s impossible to have an easy relationship if we make a poor choice in the first place.


For more on this, take a listen to the “Relationships Shouldn’t Be All That Hard” episode of Love & Life.

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