top of page






Tools from cognitive therapy to level up your state of mind.

Kissing in the Field



How to cultivate deep, authentic, long lasting intimacy.

Support group

Mental Health


Powerful, holistic research-based strategies to help us thrive emotionally.

  • Writer's pictureDr. Karin Anderson Abrell

I Was Sure Marriage Ends Happiness For Women, Then I Got Married

Love is great, but is holding on to your freedom even better?

In college I remember a psychology professor posing the question, "Who do you think are the happiest people in our society?" He then wrote a list on the board revealing the answer:

Married men

Single women

Single men

Married women


Over my years as a single adult, I'd often think about the list. From what I experienced, single women certainly fit the picture. My girlfriends and I had full, exciting lives taking ski and sun vacations, thriving in our careers, and relishing the culture of our vibrant city. But all the while, although I was very happy and knew that according to the list, marriage would likely reduce my happiness, I still continued to look for love.

Fast forward twenty years, I tell my husband I'm writing a piece asking, "Who is happier — single or married people?" "I'm very happy," he says. Consistent with the list. "And I was happy single," I tell him. Again, consistent with the list. What's inconsistent with the list is that I'm even happier now than when I was single.

How did I beat the odds and avoid slipping down to number four? Simply put, I refused to settle. I dated lots of good enough guys, but I craved a tremendously intimate connection I believed could be inherent to marriage but wouldn't be unless I waited for the extraordinary. I wanted my best friend, greatest lover, and devoted partner rolled up in one. I wanted someone who would put me first — always. As happy as I was single, I felt that if I found my perfect partner — not a perfect man, per se, but definitely the perfect man for me — I'd be even happier than I already was. And I was right.

22 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page